I've Achieved All the Things - Why Do I Feel Emotionally Flat? With Dr. Eva Yacobi
A discussion of hormones, somatic practices and nature's Xanax
I’m thrilled to have Dr. Eva Yacobi on the substack today. Dr. Eva is a naturopathic doctor and intimacy coach dedicated to helping high achieving women transform their relationship with their bodies, hormones and desires. She writes an incredible substack, Naturopathic Alchemy and you can find more about her work on her website.
The below is a condensed and edited transcription of the above video
Sara: You write a beautiful substack in which, in a lot of them, you describe a typical client’s life. [note: I would start with this one]. Can you walk us through one of those scenarios that you talk about? Because I think you perfectly encapsulate what is happening for so many women, particularly in their 30s and 40s.
Dr. Eva: It’s this emptiness, it’s this flat line, it’s this I’ve done everything I’m supposed to do. My life is good. I’ve built the career. I have the family, I have the home. Why do I feel so flat? Why do I not feel this bliss?
And not only why do I not feel that, why are my hormones an absolute mess? And I can’t to sleep at night, I can’t wake up in the morning. My hunger is all over the place. We get to this point where you look up and you’re like, wait a minute, my physical being isn’t functioning. I’m stuck in cycles of crashing and pushing and crashing and pushing.
For mothers, it can be even harder because they don’t have the time to just rest. They’re on at work and they’re on for their husbands or their partners and they’re on for their kids at all times. So how do you then carve out that time?
But just to go back, it’s this constant pushing, constant I’m going to do everything I can to look good, to feel good, to show up in the world.
[And then] in your late 30s and 40s it’s like, who am I? Not only who am I - but my body is clearly not inline. So, my mind, body, soul are not aligned and you’re pushing and pushing and pushing.
Thinking, if I just keep pushing, it’ll all work itself out.
What happens is, first progesterone comes down, and then estrogen follows. And estrogen especially is a buffer. It’s a buffer against stress.
And progesterone is called nature’s Xanax. It calms you down, it chills you out. And if that’s dropping off, that’s why some women who have never had issues with anxiety or anything will suddenly start having issues with anxiety. Usually one of the factors is progesterone dropping.
But if now your estrogen levels are coming down, and you don’t have a buffer with your cortisol and your stress, and your diet is erratic, it’s going to exacerbate blood sugar issues. So I do a lot, yes, with nutrition and supplementation.
That’s, I think, one of the biggest takeaways: as we get older with estrogen coming down, we don’t have the buffers in the same way.
The below is a condensed and edited transcription of the above video
Sara: Nervous system regulation is so popular on social media now and everybody’s in search of a regulated nervous system and just being regulated, regulated, regulated. I will say; I think it’s fundamentally one of the greatest tools you can have. That being said, you wrote ‘we don’t need more regulation, we need more capacity’ Can you explain the difference?
Dr. Eva: So for me, when I hear the word regulation, I mean, just the word itself is kind of a low vibration word, right? So when I started to hear that, I was like, okay, that’s an interesting term; for me, nervous system regulation suggests we want to be contained. We want to be in control. Whereas capacity is like - I’m going to feel the whole range and I’m not going to be taken out by the range of emotions, but I’m going to have the capacity to hold bliss as much as I can hold rage. And I can hold upset as much as I can hold joy.
And that’s what I mean by capacity and how much can our nervous system and our just ourselves be with the full range. We’re not one being. We’re not supposed to just be one way. We’re not supposed to only be joyful. or in the state of upset. And so can we hold both? Can we literally go from upset to joy within a span of even minutes?
Can we hold more capacity versus regulation? Because if it becomes something of like, I’m just in control, then I think it’s defeating the purpose.
Sara: What are some initial somatic or embodiment practices that you walk people through? Especially for people who are starting on this journey and it feels so out of their depth of - what are these people even talking about getting in your body? What do you mean you’re getting in your body?
Dr. Eva: You know, one of the things that I love is simply jumping and shaking.
It’s really brilliant and really simple. And that’s the other thing. I think we really complicate it. We really complicate it. Because we’re trying to use our human brains to make sense of everything.
Let me remind myself that I’m more than my mind, that I have a body. And I think that’s part of what happens is we get so stuck in our heads; that even just bringing that energy into your body is such a simple way.
Dr. Eva works with women that want to transform their lives. You can find her on instagram and Substack.
Content Consumption
My favorite of Dr. Eva’s substacks: Your Body Won’t Let You Have the Intimacy You Crave, Fawn Response, and The Women Never Short for Words, Just Her Own Truth
I devoured this book about a tradwife influencer in four days. The book just came out Tuesday and the film rights were already purchased in a bidding war by Anne Hathaway, who will star in the series.
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