Devotion Magnetizes Devotion
An invitation for awe and magic
I spent time at Starhouse last week, a modern temple set on 140 acres in the foothills of Boulder, Colorado. Starhouse, and the surrounding sacred sites on the property, are the vision of David Tresemer and they were built in perfect alignment with sacred geometry, the constellations, the zodiac and the chakra system. You don’t necessarily have to fully understand or even care about any of those systems to feel what it’s like to be in a space created with this level of dedication.
We are so rarely in the presence of devotion or witness to the products of devotion, being at Starhouse reminded me how awe-inspiring it can be.
Devotion is the antidote to the age of enshittification we’re in; the idea that technology is eroding the quality of our lives over time and it encompasses the concept that in late stage capitalism everything is getting worse for the end user (us) in pursuit of maximum profits. (Here’s an example: Say there’s an amazing privately owned artisanal ice cream brand that uses high quality ingredients. The ice cream brand sells to a large corporate conglomeration, who then replaces those high quality ingredients with cheaper, shittier ingredients, increasing their profit margins and delivering a worse product to the consumer. This is enshittification). Devotion has been lost in this kind of extractive, consumptive culture. Devotion doesn’t ask what is the white space for this project? What is the ROI?
Devotion is defined as love, loyalty or enthusiasm for a person, activity or cause. It is profound loyalty demonstrated through dedicated acts. It’s an active and repetitive practice. It often has a religious connotation; an act of dedication reserved for God or the divine.
And it’s the thing that’s missing from our personal and romantic relationships, the projects we engage in, the routines we create and the spaces we inhabit.
Our culture of individualism asks us what would make me happy right now? How can I be the main character in all my interactions? Devotion asks us what can I give myself to that will fulfill me over time? What do I value enough to continue to show up for day in and day out?
Here are just some examples of the features that David contemplated and integrated into the construction of the Starhouse temple:
The building entrance is aligned perfectly with the North Star
The building is a 12 sided dodecagon, to match the 12 signs of the zodiac
In the interior, 12 trees, felled from the surrounding land, mark each zodiac symbol in the correct location of the star sign relative to the North Star
Surrounding the house are 12 Guardian Stones, also aligned with their respective zodiac symbol. Buried beneath each stone is the metal associated with that astrological symbol. The stones are as far above Earth as they are below it, creating a temple space on the horizontal and vertical planes.
The building and its pathways create the image of Flower of Life when viewed from above
The spacing of the building and its surrounding elements perfectly mimic the 7 chakra system both horizontally and vertically and they are laid out so that a human standing in the center of the building is positioned at the heart chakra in both directions.
All of this to say - Starhouse was built with a level of devotion and intentionality that we so rarely see in our everyday lives. Being in a space created from so much forethought changes the texture of the experiences you have within the space. It creates a sense of awe and wonder at the magic that humans are capable of when they bring devotion to an endeavor.
In AA they say in order to build self esteem, do esteemable acts. Devotion is analogous; to inspire devotion; engage in devotional acts. The devotion that Starhouse was created from has attracted a group of people that are dedicated to transforming life on Earth with a level of love and care that I’ve rarely felt.
Devotion is associated with our third eye chakra, which is also associated with our intuition, our soul realization, our peace of mind and our concentration. This is why we find devotion to something or someone to be so satisfying, so fulfilling, so grounding.
AND - Is there anything more attractive than someone who is in deep devotion? Devotion to a spiritual practice. Devotion to a creative endeavor. Devotion to creating aliveness in romantic partnership. Devotion to YOU. It’s such a turn on.
Devotion brings an element of love to the tasks we move through; think of the difference between a devotion to moving your body versus the discipline of moving your body. The two lenses for the same activity invoke very different feelings. Devotion reframes the effort as “I get to”, discipline says “I have to”.
It was my own devotion that originally brought me to Starhouse in November; I realize now in hindsight it was devotion magnetizing devotion. I was planning a dear friend’s fortieth birthday party for a group of people - and I asked myself what would it look like to bring true devotion to the planning of this event? Instead of being annoyed that this event created a lot of work that I had to do, instead of doing the absolute bare minimum to get the planning done, checking the box, moving on to the next thing - how can I bring true devotion to every. single. detail?
That lens shifted everything. I wanted to bring surprise and delight not just to the birthday girl but to everyone who attended. It made me want to go over the top - because really in life, how many times do we do that for each other?
And that lens brought me to Debbie, the director of the Starhouse. I called her and told her that I was planning a magical birthday party and could she help me with some custom experiences for the birthday girl? And she responded with something along the lines of “of course - magic is what we do here”.
So I invite you to start asking yourself what would it look like to bring devotion to the things you have to do, to the people in your life and watch how much it shifts the energy in your life. It’s magnetic.
Even as a mental exercise, something as small as - what would it look like to bring devotion to this excel sheet? Maybe it looks like settling into the repeated refinements over and over again.
What would it look like to bring devotion to the way I present myself?
What would it look like to bring devotion to my romantic partnership?
And that birthday trip I planned? Even though it was all done out of love for - and in service of - the birthday girl, it ended up being one of the most beautiful, heart opening, rewarding, incredible weeks of my life.
Content I Consumed This Week
So many women in China are falling in love with AI, that it’s a problem for the Chinese government. Which reminds me of this incredible documentary about the 30 million “surplus” single men in China because of the one-child policy and what it’s like for them to date. Highly recommend the documentary. Even with 30 million single men in the country; they estimate that 10 million women are in relationships with AI and prefer it over dating real men.
This book blew my mind and I’ve been taping my mouth shut every night since reading it.
A podcast about the swipe era of dating apps being over.
This episode of the Rich Roll podcast about looksmaxxing horrified me deeply and sent me down a rabbit role of trying to understand a social media star named Clavicular. He encourages his followers of young men to “ascend” (get better looking) by taking meth to lose weight, smashing the bones in your face with a hammer so they’ll grow back more prominent and taking a drug called melanotan II to tan your skin, among other horrifying practices. All of this is in pursuit of “mogging” other men or having dominance over them. I find it interesting that when the centuries-long scrutiny women have faced around appearance is applied to men in the dating app market, it produces this kind of reaction in some of them.
In Case You Missed It
A step by step exercise to finding your purpose, what energizes you, qualities to look for in a partner and qualities to cultivate in yourself for partnership
I answered a reader submitted question about setting a boundary with situationships.
The rise of AI and artificial intimacy
I wrote predictions for dating and relationships in 2026
We are moving into the Year of the Fire Horse
I wrote about leaving a good relationship at 39 to hold out for great, on the Plus One Substack.
My wish for all of you on Valentine’s Day was more pleasure digestion and the discover of your erotic blueprint.
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